The Surprising Way a Coffee Pot Changed My Approach to Leadership
I consider myself a seasoned executive – the kind of leader who can rally a team and get things done. But even seasoned leaders can be foiled by simple mistakes and blind spots. Often, it’s the little things that sneak up on us. This is the story of a time when a simple coffee pot completely upended my assumptions about myself and set me on a transformative journey as a CEO.
The Empty Coffee Pot
I was about three months into a new role. I had been tasked with improving the performance of an organization with poor morale and uneasy team dynamics. The board gave me a clear mandate – turn this ship around in 12 months. No pressure, right?
As I walked into our weekly leadership meeting, I stopped in the kitchen to fill up a cup of coffee. I had a clear rule with my team: show up on time. I held myself to the same standard. The coffee pot was empty. Someone had taken the last cup and hadn’t bothered to refill it. Frustrated and bristling I quickly started the next pot. I would still make the meeting on time, if barely.
The pot finished and I opened the cupboard… It was bare. There wasn’t a single clean mug. Now my frustration was becoming anger. I turned back to clean a mug in the sink. I couldn’t clean it. There were too many dirty dishes piled up in the sink. I was furious. I paused and looked around, really looked.
It wasn’t just a pot of coffee or dirty mugs. The garbage can was overflowing, the counters were filthy, and there were messes and grime everywhere. These small acts of disrespect and lack of consideration for one another made my blood boil. No one seemed to care. No one did anything for anyone else.
In that moment, I realized that my team wasn’t just failing to gel – there were deeper underlying issues. My team didn’t have enough trust, accountability, or mutual respect. Every action in that kitchen reflected selfishness. Every mess was someone else’s problem. There wasn’t a team, because everyone was acting in their own interest.
Rules like showing up to the meeting on time weren’t going to solve these issues. We needed to take a hard look below the surface. We needed some new habits. We needed to change.
I started to clean the pile of dishes. I was going to be late. I was upset. I was disappointed and I was ready to scream. But it also occurred to me that I might not be the only person on the team who felt this way. It must happen almost every day. Why wasn’t everyone else mad? Or maybe they were! That’s when I realized one of the most important aspects of change, something that has remained critical to my leadership ever since.
Change is personal! Rules won’t change teams. New equipment won’t change teams. People change teams. We had to get personal.
I showed up to the meeting a few minutes late, coffee in hand. The room was silent. Finally, someone mustered the courage to call me out. “You told us to always show up on time, but now you’re late!”
As I sat down at the head of the table, I made the uncharacteristic decision to be vulnerable and address the elephant in the room.
“I am late, you’re right. I’m also really upset. The reason I’m late is that I had to make a fresh pot of coffee,” I announced to the group. “Someone took the last cup and didn’t have the courtesy to start a new one. This may seem like a small thing, but to me, it’s symbolic of a bigger problem we have – we don’t respect each other enough in this organization.”
Brewing Honest Conversations
You could have heard a pin drop. I then went on to invite each person to share their own grievances, and what followed was a surprisingly raw and honest discussion. Accusations flew, baggage surfaced, and egos were bruised. But in that moment of tense conflict, I realized this was exactly what we needed.
You see, I had been operating under the assumption that if I just inspired the team, provided clear direction, and celebrated our wins, everything would fall into place. But the reality was, I was ignoring the underlying interpersonal dynamics that were holding us back. We had problems, but no one was listening. The team needed to hear how their actions were connected to everyone else. That coffee pot incident forced me to take a hard look in the mirror and acknowledge that I needed to change my approach to leadership. Over the next year and a half, we embarked on a journey of radical transparency and vulnerability. I shared my own personality profile with the team. Not just my strengths but also my blind spots. I was honest about situations that challenged me and acknowledged blind spots that I needed to work on I asked the team to do the same. We learned to give and receive feedback, to be accountable to one another, and to put the team’s needs ahead of our individual agendas.
Transforming Through Transparency
It wasn’t easy, and there were certainly some growing pains. But the results spoke for themselves. Morale skyrocketed, collaboration flourished, and we started hitting our business objectives with greater consistency. That coffee pot moment ended up being a pivotal turning point – not just for the organization, but for my own evolution as a leader.
The lesson I learned is that change, at its core, is deeply personal. As a CEO, I had been so focused on the strategic and operational aspects of transformation that I had neglected the human element. By creating a culture of openness, empathy, and mutual understanding, I was able to unlock my team’s full potential and set the stage for sustainable, meaningful change.
A few months later I was running to that very same meeting. Barely on time, I walked into the kitchen. A fresh pot of coffee had just finished brewing. The cupboard was filled with neatly lined cups. The counter was clean, the sink was empty, and the garbage can had plenty of space. I walked into a completely different meeting. The quiet, tense team had been replaced. In their seats were the same people, but now they were chatting, laughing, and helping each other out.
The next time you’re faced with a trivial annoyance or a nagging interpersonal issue in your organization, I encourage you to lean in. Explore the reasons for your issues, not just the issues themselves. Because you never know – that could be the very catalyst that sparks a profound shift in your leadership approach and the trajectory of your business.
